My Top 10 Birbs in the Hand

A Ruby-crowned Kinglet perched on my fingers — A Ruby-crowned Kinglet ready for launch.

Over the years, I’ve been lucky to hold an extraordinary variety of birds for research (with permits, of course). A great many of them could easily be considered “birbs”––critters of the avian persuasion typified by a level of cuteness, silliness, or absurdity that elevates them to a whole new level of endearment.

Here are my picks for the top 10 birbs I’ve ever had the pleasure to hold.

#10 – Sharp-shinned Hawk

Sharp-shinned Hawk in my hand — Expression like a Muppet...feet that look like chicken toes instead of talons o’ death...and its capture was completely accidental.

Definitely a top ten birb.

I realize the term “birb” is usually applied to small (“smol”), fluffy, round birds with heart-melting appeal. This young male Sharp-shinned Hawk sneaks into the top 10 primarily under the Muppet Exemption to the rules of birbness. His wide, googly-eyed stare evokes the bewildered indignation of the Muppets’ Sam the American Eagle, and those splayed, dangling legs seem as innocent and unassuming as chicken feet rather than the fierce weaponry of a bird of prey (do not, however, be fooled). The fact that catching him was a complete accident makes him one of the most memorable birbs of my time afield.

#9 – Least Bittern

Least Bittern with its bill pointed upwards and eyes facing forward — A lil water birb sporting some serious derp

Netting this Least Bittern was also unintentional. Like the hawk, he wound up in a songbird mist net against the odds, offering me a rare up-close-and-personal encounter. Also like the hawk, he mainly achieves birb status with his goofy expression (“derp” if you will), bestowed by a unique arrangement of the peepers. Bitterns have eyes on the sides of their head, but, just by lifting their chins, they can also see right in front of themselves.

#8 – Wood Duck

Wood Duck in my hands — Warm, soft, charismatic duckie birb

Wood Ducks are the cutest ducks I have ever seen in person; their colorful plumage is so striking, and the fact that they nest in trees is, well, adorable. Imagine my surprise, then, at how truly smol and charismatic they are when I had the chance during my master’s work to assist some waterfowl biologists. A male like this weighs only about 1.5 pounds. He was also pleasantly warm and very soft. Now that’s a birb.

#7 – Ruffed Grouse

Ruffed Grouse in a handling bag wearing a radio transmitter — Plush, plump borb, charmingly chonk

For plush, plump roundness in the hand, few birds in my experience surpass the Ruffed Grouse. This so-called “chicken of the forest” is so docile, fluffy, and charmingly chunky that it blows right past “birb” into “borb” territory. Having handled many of them for my master’s research, and followed their daily dramas with radio-telemetry, I can also vouch that each individual grouse has a lot of personality, and that just makes them even more special.

#6 – Mourning Dove

Mourning Dove in my hand — Plush, plump borb that (barely) fits in one hand

The Mourning Dove ranks above the Ruffed Grouse in borb status only on a technicality––it fits (barely) in just one hand. This bird I netted during my songbird research was extraordinarily warm and cozy and comforting to hold. “Borb” + “smol” + warm = top-notch birb

#5 – Ruby-throated Hummingbird

Ruby-throated Hummingbird in my fingers — Teeniest birb in my hand...ever

The largest bird I’ve ever held is a Canada Goose (it was very grumpy and definitely not a birb). The smallest is the Ruby-throated Hummingbird. Hummingbirds require special training to band, given that their little legs are so incredibly small, and so I immediately released the several that I netted during my songbird research. Fitting neatly in my fingertips, they were the teeniest, tiniest birbs I’ve ever touched.

#4 – Black-capped Chickadee

Black-capped Chickadee in my hand, biting my finger — Extremely angry, bitey floof

Among real-life Angry Birds, there is no greater avian wrath than that of the Black-capped Chickadee. Chickadees are the feistiest, most hot-tempered, most indignant lil birbs I have ever encountered, never missing the chance to bite my finger or peck my cuticles. But because they are so small and floofy, I find their ire absolutely adorable.

#3 – Winter Wren

Winter Wren in my hand — Tiny, round, wiggly floofy borb

What’s tiny, round, wiggly, and practically has no neck? A bird that certainly made an impression on me: the Winter Wren. This lil birb was one of the most difficult for me to extract from a mist net, simply because getting my fingers over its barely there little shoulders to hold it was like trying to get my fingers over the shoulders of a feathered ping-pong ball. For that, this lil floof makes the top three.

#2 – Ruby-crowned Kinglet

Ruby-crowned Kinglet sitting in my open palm — Snuggly, poofy floof

If a songbird gets chilly when netted on an early morning in late autumn, it must be warmed back up in the hand before it’ll fly away. (Don’t worry, this doesn’t happen often.) Behold a little Ruby-crowned Kinglet who was content to hang out in my palm until it felt ready to take off again. Smol, round, poofy, and heart-achingly cute, this lil bird checks all the boxes for top two birb status.

#1 – Golden-crowned Kinglet

Golden-crowned Kinglet in my hand — Mesmerizingly confident birb, with poofed crest bonus points

The number one spot on my top ten list goes to the songbird I’ve adopted as my emblem online, the most mesmerizing birb I’ve ever had the pleasure to hold: a female Golden-crowned Kinglet. Her crest is poofed, her attitude is one of alert confidence, and I knew as soon as I saw her that she was something special. In my book, this lil lady is winning at birb.